What is the main argue of happy couples?

Society 13:39 18.09.2019

Arguments happen in every marriage – if you know differently, please tell us – but a new study of 121 couples suggests that those in happy relationships argue about specific sorts of issues, Science Alert reports.

These couples all described themselves as being in happy marriages, and their arguments tended to focus on issues that can be practically resolved: who does the housework, for example, and how to spend leisure time.

More intractable problems – like issues around religion or relatives-in-law – weren't discussed as much. The researchers say this suggests that one of the important factors in a good marriage might be not needing to have, or avoiding, debates around problems that have no clear path to a resolution.

"Happy couples tend to take a solution-oriented approach to conflict, and this is clear even in the topics that they choose to discuss," says psychologist Amy Rauer, from The University of Tennessee, Knoxville.

The researchers looked at two groups of couples: one group of 57 couples in their mid-to-late 30s, married for an average of 9 years, and one group of 64 couples in their early 70s, married for an average of 42 years.

When asked to rank the importance of issues that caused conflict, couples across both age groups listed intimacy, leisure, household, communication, and money as the most serious (plus health, for the older couples).

Jealousy, religion, and family were ranked as least serious in both samples.

Focusing on issues with clear resolutions can add to a feeling of security within the relationship, and a feeling of achievement when something – like where to go on holiday – gets sorted out, the researchers suggest.

In contrast, discussing something like intimacy could lead to feelings of vulnerability or embarrassment, according to Rauer and her colleagues.

The couples who had been married longer reported that they argued less overall and had fewer serious problems to contend with – perhaps a sign that as the years go by we get better at picking our battles.

To be clear, it's important not to generalise too much from this sample of 121 couples. For starters, they were all self-reporting their happiness – we don't objectively know how happy they really were, and also happiness in a relationship is objective.

The couples were also all from financially stable, white heterosexual relationships, and were only studied at one point in time, so it's a very narrow sample size.

And, importantly, there was no control group of 'unhappy' couples to compare them against.

But while the study only points at interesting links to follow up, it also has a few potential lessons about who to marry and what to fight over.

"Being able to successfully differentiate between issues that need to be resolved versus those that can be laid aside for now may be one of the keys to a long-lasting, happy relationship," says Rauer.

 

IEPF issued a statement regarding Azerbaijani children at the UN Human Rights Council

News line

Tomorrow in Abu Dhabi: Aliyev and Pashinyan Hold Crucial Peace Process Talks
12:30 09.07.2025
Heavy rainfall hits SW China, 5 missing in Sichuan
12:15 09.07.2025
U.S. Detaining Individuals from Three Continents at Guantanamo Immigration Facilities
12:00 09.07.2025
Israel eliminates Hamas commander in Lebanon — IDF
11:45 09.07.2025
South Korea sends 6 rescued North Koreans back across sea border
11:30 09.07.2025
US condemns Houthi attacks on cargo ships in Red Sea
11:15 09.07.2025
Trump says he considers agreeing to more sanctions on Russia
11:00 09.07.2025
Today is a Day of Diplomacy in Azerbaijan
10:45 09.07.2025
Mexico probes former president for allegedly taking millions in bribes from Israeli businessmen
10:30 09.07.2025
Trump, Israel’s Netanyahu meet for a second time about a ceasefire in Gaza
10:15 09.07.2025
Death toll surpasses 100, at least 160 missing in Texas
10:00 09.07.2025
Mediators move closer to securing Israel-Hamas ceasefire in Gaza
09:45 09.07.2025
FBI launches probes into former FBI, CIA directors
09:30 09.07.2025
Trump's envoy says US 'hopeful' 60-day Gaza ceasefire agreed upon 'by end of this week'
09:15 09.07.2025
Azerbaijan hosts official reception at Gulustan Palace on occasion of professional holiday of diplomats
09:00 09.07.2025
Organisation of Turkic States, TURKPA congratulate Azerbaijani diplomats on professional holiday
08:45 09.07.2025
Rubio: US waiting for signing of Azerbaijan-Armenia peace treaty
08:30 09.07.2025
Russia charges former deputy defense minister with fraud, illegal arms trafficking
20:45 08.07.2025
Far-right Israeli ministers call to block Gaza aid, enforce starvation, halt ceasefire talks
20:30 08.07.2025
Ukraine appeals to OPCW to investigate possible use of chemical weapons by Russia
20:00 08.07.2025
Minister: Slovenia considers Azerbaijan key partner in green transition
19:45 08.07.2025
Ukrainian forces push back and hold ground in Russian regions, army chief says
19:30 08.07.2025
Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan open new border crossing point
19:15 08.07.2025
Azerbaijan, Slovenia discuss green energy collaboration
19:00 08.07.2025
Baku hosts conference on role of National Leader Heydar Aliyev in media development
18:45 08.07.2025
Another Training Session Held at IEPF Headquarters – Representation at the UN in Focus
18:15 08.07.2025
'We will de-risk our economies, but we do not want to decouple,' EU Commission president says on relations with China
18:15 08.07.2025
France’s Macron makes state visit to UK with migration and Ukraine on agenda
18:00 08.07.2025
Armenian Investigative Committee conducts searches at 51 addresses simultaneously
17:45 08.07.2025
4 killed, over 20 injured in Cairo data center fire
17:30 08.07.2025
Unknown individuals attack MPs in Armenian parliament
17:15 08.07.2025
Raids on illegal migrants in hostels, prayer houses in Moscow
17:00 08.07.2025
Hakan Fidan doesn’t rule out meeting of Russian, Ukrainian and US presidents in Türkiye
16:45 08.07.2025
Investigators raid head office of Electric Networks of Armenia
16:30 08.07.2025
Family of 4 killed after small plane crashes in North Carolina
16:15 08.07.2025
ASCO discusses port, logistics centers development with Chinese company
16:00 08.07.2025
Newcastle agree £55m fee for Forest winger Elanga
15:45 08.07.2025
Pashinyan says he will personally lead 'liberation' of Armenian church
15:30 08.07.2025
Russian emergencies minister thanks Azerbaijan for organizing evacuation of Russian citizens from Iran
15:15 08.07.2025
Azerbaijani parliament adopts in final reading improvement of requirements for services and work provided by NGOs
15:00 08.07.2025
Hamısı