A Dallas police officer broke her silence Friday about the night she killed a young accountant who lived in the apartment right above hers, telling jurors that she has to live with the guilt every day and that she wished their roles were reversed, Business Insider reports.
Amber Guyger tearfully told the packed courtroom at her murder trial that she was sorry for killing 26-year-old Botham Jean last September, explaining that she mistook his fourth-floor apartment for her own. But during cross-examination, prosecutors cast doubt on Guyger's grief, wondered why she didn't call for backup instead of confronting Jean and questioned her attempts to save his life.
Guyger, 31, repeatedly apologized for killing Jean as she spoke publicly for the first time about the events of that night.
"I hate that I have to live with this every single day of my life and I ask God for forgiveness, and I hate myself every single day," she said as she looked across the courtroom at Jean's family.
Guyger, who was fired after the shooting, said she wished "he was the one with the gun" and had killed her, instead. "I never wanted to take an innocent person's life. And I'm so sorry. This is not about hate. It's about being scared that night," she said.